Blood of the Snail

I'm so comfortable with my face-with my fat fucking thighs-with my imperfect smile and my thoughts that might not make sense to you. I'm comfortable reading a book and stopping and forgetting where I left off and picking up a new book to read. I'm comfortable with dirty dishes in the sink and my questionable nature you might find annoying and pestering. I'm comfotable.

I'm a multifaceted woman having a human experience. I'm not interested in a relationship-I just got out of a 25 plus year one. I raised a son-I cared for my sick mother-I was a good wife. Now back to thinking of me-and this is where I tell people to fuck off so I can remember what this feels like. I'm woman-hear me roar and all that. Let me experience life on my own-it's still brand new to me. I'm still adapting 'evolving' what have you---I'm still learning. I'm a student of life-a child of the universe. Just let me be. How would you react to the love of your life walking out on you? Watching your mother die a slow death? A small tiny wonder (me) as strong as I might seem is just crawling out of her shell. Let me cry on my kitchen floor-let me get drunk on Tuesday nights and write poetry on sunlit mornings while my dog sits by my side.  Allow me to be wild-sexy-carefree. Allow me to show my smarts, my lady-like demeanor or let me be cluel...

Life is pain. Life is sadness. Life is lonliness. Life is devastation. Life is sleeping, its dreaming. Life is being woke, life is joy, life is laughter, life is breathing, life is happiness in my eyes, life is having a child...raising a child and having the tiny boy suckle at my breast. Life is family, its sickness, it's travel, learning....life is hiding and being fearful. Life is overcoming, life is sharing, life is communicating, life is a sunset, its a flower in full bloom and petals fall one by one. Life is poetry and music and art, life is desolate and isolation, it's my eyes closed meditating and a white star is my focus. Life is resting your head on a blue pillow at 2p.m. while the sun is scorching the sidewalks outside your home. Life is rising to catch a train I've be er been on- its food on a burning stove while music fades in the background. Life is memories good and bad, its children's fingers on my cheek with a precious sticky smile and eyes gleam of hop...

My teeth were crumbling, falling out and turning to dust, i ran to the sink, spit out teeth and blood, looked in the mirror and new teeth were growing back I showed my mother my new teeth growing in,, she said they were  pretty and then felt my gums and said they were so strong

I'm dying inside He said he wants to leave me It hurts so much He said he sees himself alone, without me I see us always together

I feel like you're being ripped out of me and now that empty space sees void